The general state of agile product management is embarrassing. Despite better knowledge and the agile manifesto being around for decades now, the vast majority of products only see a lab or split test at the very end while all steps before remain agile wasteland. The usual reaction of product management is to blame others: stupid management, ignorant boss, missing strategy and incompetent stakeholders. I argue that product management itself is part of the problem. We fall prey to agile method alchemists promising the ultimate solutions to become agile and lean and forget that we need to master the fundamental questions first before choosing and master our weapons.